Personality Check TWO!
by Polalis
Summary: Yep thats right...Personality Check 2!!! PG13 for language and slightly perverse theme. Check out Personality Check 1 under FF8
1. In Which They All Fall Because Zidane Is...

Ah yes...The twisted mind that is mine couldnt get enough Personality Check, so she decided to create...  
  
*trumpet blares*  
  
PERSONALITY CHECK 2!!!!!!!!  
  
This time its the characters from...  
  
*trumpet blares...again*  
  
Final Fantasy IX!!!!  
  
Starring...or Switching To...  
  
Dagger to Quina! Zidane to Dagger! Freya to Eiko! Eiko to Amarant! Quina to Zidane! Vivi to Freya! Amarant to Steiner! Steiner to Vivi!  
  
Appearing Again By Popular Demand...  
  
The Rabid German Farmers With Pitchforks! The Little Boy Named Amy! The Little Girl Named Richard! and...a Screwed Up Dog Named George!  
  
And Introducing... Little Billy Joe from Montana (who's mama was a banana)  
  
I got bored with What Haven't You Seen? and my newest Original General Fiction "How Things Are" which annoyed me because it doesnt show up in paragraphs, its all bunched together.  
  
  
  
  
  
If this is bunched together, I am going off to search for a new fanfiction site.  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
It was a fine, just freakin' lovely day back in Gaia. The birds were singing, the grass was growing, the sun was out. A perfect day.  
  
Little did our sleeping characters know there fate...  
  
Each of them was sleeping in, the little lazy bums. What ungrateful buggers. After all Ive done for them! I put the clothes on there backs, the food in there bellies, the monkeys in there pants....  
  
Ahem. Where was I? Oh yes.  
  
So, it was all nice and peachy and they were all sleeping when suddenly...  
  
Dun dun dun...  
  
They woke up!  
  
*gasp of horror*  
  
Ah yes...they all woke up in Alexandria Castle where they were staying for the summer and went to the kitchen to force the little midgets in cooking hats to make them breakfast! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Yet as they were going down the long flight of stairs to the floor that the kitchen was located on Zidane, who was at the back of the line, stumbled over nothing because he is a dork and banged into everyone in front of him.  
  
They all rolled down the stairs, banging there heads into eachothers as they fell. Yet the last person they banged heads with before the reached the bottom... 


	2. In Which Quina Discovers She Has A Tail

*coughs apologetically* I know I haven't updated in a long while on this and uh...its because.uhr..I have no reason, really 0.o I was just kinda just doing nothing and forgot that this even existed until I went on to my stats and noticed 'Personality Check TWO!' there and wondered 'When the HELL did I write that?!' and realized it must've been one of those times when I was half asleep at 3 AM on a weekend. Gomen nasai -.-  
  
Oh yeah, when the people talk or do things, since they are now split and such, it will go like this. Say it is Quina's mind in Zidane's body, she/he will be Quina/Zidane. If it is Freya's mind in Eiko's body, it will be Freya/Eiko.  
  
Got it? Good. Now lets continue.  
  
  
  
They all rolled down the stairs, banging their heads into each others' as they fell. Yet the last person they banged heads with before the reached the bottom...  
  
Was the person they seemingly switched minds with!!!!!  
  
*strangled gasp of mock horror*  
  
Indeed!  
  
The group remained unconscious at the bottom of the stairs for a moment, and Quina was the first to arise out of his/her unconscious state. But.was Quina really Quina?  
  
NO!  
  
He/she was now.ZIDANE!  
  
That's right! Quina was now in Zidane's body!  
  
Quina/Zidane looked around at the people sprawled on the ground, but caught a glimpse of something at the corner of her/his eye. She/he turned around but could not see the thing that was running away from her/him in circles around her/his body. It knew what direction she/he was going to turn next, so it seemed, and it was impossible to catch. She/he continued to twirl.  
  
Vivi was next to get up.but he wasn't really Vivi, oh no, it was Vivi inside Freya!!!!  
  
Vivi/Freya watched Quina/Zidane twirling around in circles.  
  
"Zidane.why are you chasing your tail?" Vivi/Freya asked, suddenly clasping his hands to his mouth. Quina/Zidane followed in suit.  
  
"I sound like Freya!" Vivi/Freya hollered.  
  
"I have a tail!!!!" Quina/Zidane cried.  
  
The commotion they made woke everyone else up. They all immediately knew something was wrong.  
  
Each and every one of them slowly realized who they were and whom they were in.  
  
"Holy patoosh, I seem to be Quina!" Dagger/Quina cried.  
  
"Wow, I'm Dagger!" Zidane/Dagger said, pinching his own butt. "Sooooooft." He drooled.  
  
"I must be Eiko." Freya/Eiko said, pricking her finger on her horn.  
  
"GAH!!!!! I'm AMARANT!!!!" Eiko/Amarant screamed, punching the walls of the castle.  
  
"Can it you annoying brat." A knight in rusty armor said nearby. He looked at his body. "Crap.I'm that moron Steiner." Amarant/Steiner said with menace.  
  
"See here now! I'm no moron! It is you who are the moron, you bloody thief!" Steiner/Vivi said, setting off a fire spell at Amarant/Steiner by accident.  
  
"This is just fricken' peachy!" Dagger/Quina yelled as she slapped Zidane/Dagger's hand away from his butt.  
  
"What we going to do?" Quina/Zidane asked. "I am hungry" he/she said, licking his/her lips.  
  
Everyone stared at him/her.  
  
"Maybe we should go to Lindblum and speak to Uncle Cid..." Dagger/Quina suggested.  
  
Everyone shrugged. There was no one else who might be able to help them. 


	3. In Which I Am Killed By A Boot

Uhm.Yes. I'm updating ^.^;;;;; Sheer boredom at 3:30 AM on a Saturday.well.now its Sunday, but whatever O.o;;;  
  
  
  
Our group of pitiful confused little midgets all got on the lovely airship "Invincible" and headed off towards Lindblum, where a confused Artania and an even more confused Cid greeted them.  
  
"What the FOOK is wrong with all yooooou?" Cid slurred. He was obviously drunk. Eiko and recently disowned him, and Hilda had run off with Baku in the Hilda Garde 3, so Cid had became an alcoholic.  
  
The group quickly explained their situation, but Cid wasn't listening. He had fallen asleep on the arm of his cool chair and was drooling and farting in his sleep.  
  
".and you see...Oh GOD Uncle Cid, what the HELL have you been drinking?!" Dagger/Quina exclaimed, running out of the room to hurl over the banister on to the head of one of Cid's poor, unfortunate minions.Ah, I mean devoted soldiers. The rest of the group followed in suite. Poor little Cid-Minions.  
  
After Artania gave Cid a whipping and sent him to his room, the group continued on with their story, only to Artania. He would most likely be more helpful, anyway.  
  
Artania pondered for a minute. Then he pondered for another. And another, and another, and another. Then, his narcolepsy acted up, and he fell fast asleep.  
  
Everyone blinked.  
  
"To hell with this!" they all shouted in unison, heading out the door towards where the Invincible was landed.  
  
  
  
Once back at Alexandria Castle, they consulted Doctor Tot, which they should of done in the first place. But do they listen to me? Oh no.Never...*gets hit with a boot* AUGH!!!  
  
"Thank God we got rid of HER." Eiko/Amarant growled, slamming random things.  
  
Doctor Tot figured that it was only a matter of time or a few good knocks to the head before there switched personalities went back to normal, so the group decided just to wait it out and live normally until then.  
  
*Alexandria Kitchens*  
  
Quina/Zidane was BORED. And hungry, of course, isn't she/he always?  
  
She/he watched the little midgets in chef's hats (what the hell are those things, anyway?) hustling and bustling about with ingredients and cooking utensils around boiling pots and sizzling saucepans.  
  
"So hungry." Quina/Zidane moaned, rubbing his/her belly. Just seeing the food made her/him drool. Unfortunately, the little bugger must've drooled too much, as the little midgets all drowned. They all screamed and gurgled and whimpered before they collapsed in a heap and absorbed all of the drool into there skin.  
  
Quina/Zidane looked around to see if there were any witnesses, and quickly proceeded to eat every single scrap of food in that kitchen.  
  
  
  
*Dagger's Bedroom*  
  
Zidane/Dagger told everyone that since he was in Dagger's body, he should be able to have her room to stay in. No one disagreed. At least they wouldn't have to deal with him all day, and plus they knew if they complained he would cry.  
  
Ah, but the real reason Zidane/Dagger wanted to stay in Dagger's room isn't what he told the party, oh no! The real reason Zidane/Dagger wanted to be in Dagger's room was.  
  
Because he had a panty fetish!  
  
Yes, that's right, fools! A panty fetish!!  
  
Zidane/Dagger was absolutely obsessed with wearing women's panties!  
  
And Dagger, of course.  
  
The second Zidane/Dagger got into the room and had locked the door securely behind him, he quickly stripped until he was fully nude and blinked a few times. Why did he blink? Go ask a shrink! (Yes. Dr. Suess reference. Bite me.)  
  
Naked, Zidane/Dagger searched through all of Dagger's drawers until he found the drawer: the panty drawer! And what a site did he see!  
  
Frilly panties, pink panties, panties with flower prints, black panties, leather thongs..LEATHER THONGS?!?!?  
  
Zidane/Dagger jumped when he saw the leather thongs. He blinked, and then wondered what wearing a leather thong would feel like. 


	4. In Which EikoAmarant Goes Bowling

Yes. I've been gone for a very, very, very long time. Why?  
  
Laziness, I suppose.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own FF9 and all that good crap.  
  
Now on with the show!  
  
Dagger/Quina, out of lack of anything else to do besides mourn over her being trapped in such a hideously ugly figure, decided she may as well as go and retire to her bedroom to mope some more.  
  
Boy did she wish she hadn't thought of that idea.  
  
For there was Zidane/Dagger, clad only in a leather thong.  
  
HER leather thong.  
  
Dagger/Quina blinked a few times, as did Zidane/Dagger. Slowly Dagger/Quina left the room and shut the door quietly behind her, the proceeded to run screaming down the hall.  
  
WHERE.  
  
She ran smack dab into a poor Quina/Zidane, who seemed to be suffering from a bit of a tummy ache. Zidane's pitiful stomach couldn't hold as much food as Quina usually eats, and thus there was a bit that had to come back up.  
  
All over Dagger/Quina.  
  
Eiko, usually always quite a sinister little bitch in need of anger management, liked being in Amarant's body.  
  
Eiko/Amarant was having a grand time of slamming big things into bigger things, which in turn would fall over and knock over smaller things, which would hit her custom "bowling pins"  
  
Amarant/Steiner, Steiner/Vivi, Vivi/Freya, and the recently acquired puke- soaked Dagger/Quina.  
  
Freya/Eiko was spared, seeing as how Eiko/Amarant didn't want to harm her own precious body. Quina/Zidane was too busy puking to be bothered, and Eiko/Amarant didn't even WANT to know what Zidane/Dagger was doing when she walked in on him only in a leather thong touching Dagger's body in.not so pleasant areas.  
  
So four pins would have to do.  
  
".for now." She thought, seeing a slightly tipsy Doctor Tot walking by in a pink string bikini.  
  
Freya/Eiko, not being somehow forced to the ground for a "game" of bowling with Eiko/Amarant, figured she might as well find something else to do.  
  
"Eiko! Want eat big feasty with me?" Freya/Eiko heard Quina/Zidane call out.  
  
".Heehee. With chocolate sauce and whipped cream and handcuffs..." Said a giggly half-naked Zidane/Dagger.  
  
Suddenly, Freya/Eiko feared very much for her sanity. -------  
  
A/N  
  
The author realizes that in 7 months, her sense of humor has changed. She realizes this is no longer funny.  
  
Should she give up? 


End file.
